just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
