worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
