I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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