she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
