So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
