Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
