All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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