I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
