Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
