Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
