We won't sleep together?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
