Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
