i permit you to call me
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
