You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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