So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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