I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
