you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
The feeling are messing with the penis
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
