not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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