OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
