you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
