One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
