Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
