Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just fell off a train. Bad.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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