we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
