haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
