At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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