She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
