i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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