Don't you send me to vm
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
