So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
