Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
