i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
