Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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