Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
