please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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