they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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