While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
