I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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