If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
