We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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