One girl and one boy is just not enough.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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