I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
