No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
