He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
