Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
