dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
