This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
