Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
