I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
