I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
