it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
