If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
