And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
