When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
